The power of “instasy” vs ecstasy

Learning to find joy inside yourself.

ecstatic

adjective – feeling or expressing overwhelming happiness or joyful excitement.

“I am ecstatic about my team’s excellent results”

We have all experienced ecstasy (the legal version) and the feeling of immense joy.  It could be due to a planned event you have been looking forward to, or an intense moment of deep happiness when a pleasant surprise comes your way. A business deal that went really well, being spoilt by a person who appreciates you, an unexpected blessing …. all these events bring about a deep sense of wellbeing, joy and happiness.

I remember feeling like this on my wedding day, when my children were born and on my consultancy’s first birthday (many people thought I was crazy to start working as a consultant).  On many other normal days there are sparkling moments of joy, laughter and happiness for me.  Giving or receiving a carefully selected gift, having a cup of coffee with a kindred spirit and a beautiful sunset are moments high on my joy-list.

Reality is that we don’t experience over-the-moon joy all the time.  There may even be a season in your life where you haven’t felt ecstatic for a while.  Pretty normal when life is just happening. Being ecstatic makes you laugh, whereas instasy often brings a smile, even when the going gets tough.

“instatic”

(new word – writer’s freedom)

adjective – feeling of calmness and contentment in your own being and environment.

“I am ‘instatic’ when I read a book, go for a walk in nature and enjoy the peace around me”.

If being ecstatic is triggered by external stimuli, being instatic requires you to find joy and contentment inside yourself.  People who are able to feel content, at ease and peaceful despite what is happening around them, have learnt to optimise their internal locus of control.  An external locus of control (over our emotions and sense of wellbeing) is giving other people control over your own internal wellness. 

When the going gets tough, it’s important to know how to apply self-soothing.  This is the ability to reset yourself and get through a difficult experience.  It is about learning what will help you calm down and recover from emotional flooding.  Flooding evokes emotions of intense sadness, anger, frustration, disappointment etc.  Learning to being “instatic” might be helpful to recover from the emotional flooding and ease into calmness again.

For me as an early riser, I feel instatic when the world still sleeps, but the sun and birds dance in the morning to announce a beautiful day.  I am often really productive this time of day as nature provides a canvas to create a happy day.

Do you feel content?  Are you able to create “instasy” by being more tuned in to what you need to be the best version of yourself?  This is self-awareness – one of the 6 pillars of Emotional Intelligence.

Tips to acquire instasy:

• Seek calmness and silence in your day – 30 min per day is ideal.
• Reflect before responding to a negative situation.
• Do things that make you happy when you need to reset.
• Don’t use electronics when taking this precious time out.
• Connect with nature.

Wishing you happiness and joy within yourself as well as in the environment you operate in!  This topic and more are covered in our Emotional Intelligence training. 

We customise training and coaching to suit your or the needs of your team.  Feel free to contact us for a complimentary consultation on marjon@skillswork.co.za or sean@skillswork.co.za.